Resistances vs Challenges
From "The inwarders” Podcast serie n°21, available on major Apps or also listen via: https://www.theinwarders.com/podcast
In this new serie “Resistances versus Challenges” I share with you my recent experience and understanding that we should aim for the absence of resistances versus the absence of challenges.
As my water heater broke down and my intercom stopped working almost on the same day, I felt a strong resistance within me for dealing with things I am clearly not interested in. But life doesn’t care. Things still show up whenever they want.
I had to sit down for a couple of days with my notebook to figure things out.
For some reasons, I carried the thought that challenges shouldn’t show up. And by showing up, it was a clear sign I am not spiritual enough. Because if I were, things will stop breaking down. I was so absolutely sure of this idea being the absolute truth that I missed the following point:
The problem doesn’t come from the challenges, but from me resisting them.
Intellectually, I understand it. I sincerely read tones of self-help and spiritual books. But somehow the application of that teaching in my day to day life was….a struggle.
My aim is not to stop life from happening. You cannot create without messiness. Any artists would confirm that. When life needs to create something new, it frees some energy (by breaking down something or letting go someone) and uses that energy to create anew.
My resistance is just preventing this to happen and create more disturbances that it initially required. I don’t want to praise but I am particularly good at doing just that.
The problem arises first in thinking, then comes the feeling, that challenges and things that “I judge as going wrong” shouldn’t happen at all. Once I put that thought aside….for a few seconds only, there is no problem. Can I fix the water heater? No…who am I kidding, but someone can do it for me. That person was absolutely charming and competent! Same for my intercom and all the multitude of things that require some attention in my home.
Here is what I’ve learned:
Aim for the absence of resistances versus the absence of challenges
First,wWe let go of the thoughts (then feelings and sensations) challenges and problems shouldn’t arise
They do arise. That’s part of the destructive / creative cycle of life. Things break down. People need attention. Unplanned activities and events to attend pop up continuously.
When we focus on what shouldn’t be there, we spend lots of precious energy resisting that, creating unnecessary tensions and conflicts and often miss the opportunity to sort things out in a simple manner that can even bring benefits and new opportunities.
Second,bBy staying present to ourselves we can let go of our resistances when a challenge arises
Sometimes things happen in such a way we cannot easily process it all at once. That’s why I recommend some spare time, or even planned and booked in our agenda to address what is happening in our life.
When we observe our own resistances, we can consciously choose to address them.
That water heater shouldn’t have broken down? Is it truth? Well, it is broken. So no, it is not my reality. Instead of wanting it to be unbroken, I need to accept the truth. It is broken. Period. There is no question about that.
Can I stop resisting it? Yes, by embracing whatever thoughts and feelings occur. Once it is down, it is quite funny to realize it is just fine. No big deal.
Finally, we can even let go of the judgement of something or someone being a challenge. By not labelling things as good or bad, challenging or not. It is just is. It is there…or it is not there. That’s pretty much all. And if there is no challenges, there is no resistances.
I hope the increased awareness of the resistances in your life will help you to embrace what each day brings to you, regardless of what it is. And regain some peace from it.
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